Wolsey’s fool, given to King Henry as a gift at the start of Wolf Hall.
The story so far…
Week 2: At Austin Friars / Visitation
“What in God’s name is he doing here?” Cromwell says when we first meet Patch on the riverbank of the Thames. Their master is in disgrace, but Path makes a joke. When the king brings a gift and hope of reprieve, Wolsey makes Patch a gift to the king. Cromwell notes that he “shouldn’t have drawn attention to himself”.
Week 7: Entirely Beloved Cromwell (Part 2)
The next time we see Patch again he is playing his old master Wolsey in a farce at Hampton Court. It is 1530 and Wolsey is dead. He calls Cromwell “the Italian” and Cromwell warns him he can “fix” him. “Come and meet me here, ten years today, if you’re still alive,” says Patch. Cromwell: “You would have a fright if I was dead.”
Week 23: The Black Book (Part 2)
Master Sexton is banished from court for making fun of Anne and calling her a ribald. Nicholas Carew gives him refuge, ‘out of pity.’ Anthony is aggrieved and says Sexton talks the truth.
Week 32: Salvage (Part 2/3)
Sexton is back at court, for his jokes are in season again. But he chose the wrong moment to crack a joke: Henry has just received Reginald Pole’s big book of treason.
Patch makes fun of ‘Lord Tom from Putney. You put the jesters out of occupation and make them beg a living… Who needs make a joke, when the jokes are walking and talking and calling themselves by the title of baron?’
Week 38: Vile Blood (1/2)
Will Somer is sick so Patch is deputising at the banquet after the fall of York. He tells Cromwell to ‘trot on till you get to Putney.’ Go lower, Crumb. He makes jokes at the expense of Richard Riche, known as Sir Purse and then says: ‘The Pilgrims will crumb you… They will crumb you till you are crumbed back to flour.’
'If the Emperor comes you will be crumbed and fried. You will be sizzled like the heretic Tyndale.' He should heed the king's word, yet he must speak: 'We do not know for certain that Tyndale is burned.' Sexton says, 'I could smell him from here.'
Week 39: Vile Blood (Part 2/2)
In a Windsor back-court Cromwell finds Patch. ‘Sexton? Why are you abroad?’
Sexton scoops up the ball. 'No curfew in Patchtown.' 'You have no business in the kitchens.'
Lord Privy Seal throws the ball over a wall. ‘Your head, Patch.’